This ninja in Naruto is unscientific

Chapter 295 My Konoha Dream!

The new center of Konoha, the Hokage Building branch.

As night fell, the lecture hall, which had been full of examinees, was now empty except for a few tables in the front row pushed together, piled high with paper answer sheets printed from multi-functional tablets.

This is also for archiving and verification. After all, it is the first joint Chunin Exam, and both electronic and paper records provide double insurance. Moreover, the paper records have a more ceremonial feel.

"Click".

The conference room door was pushed open, and Nishikawa Tetsu walked in looking exhausted.

He had just finished checking the accounts for the Konoha renovation project, and now he felt like his head was about to explode.

"Vice Minister, you've finally arrived."

Nara Shikaku slumped in his chair, a red pen in his hand, three coffee cups in front of him already empty, his eyes bloodshot.

"This job is inhuman. Multiple choice questions, short answer questions, subjective questions, and I also have to analyze their 'Konoha values ​​alignment.' I feel like half of my brain cells have died."

Lu Jiu pointed to the two stacks of test papers of different heights beside him and sighed.

"The one on the left is acceptable, the one on the right is unacceptable. See for yourself."

Nishikawa Tetsu walked to the table, pulled up a chair and sat down, then picked up a passing test paper and flipped through it.

"How's it going? The results in Konoha are alright, right?"

"Konoha performed well overall." Shikaku rubbed his sore neck, his tone slightly more energetic.

"After all, we're on our own turf, so the acceptance of these new technologies and management models is very high. Kurenai's analysis is very insightful, and Shizune's essay is so profound that it's not like a child's at all. Even three generations of adults would probably praise her for her high level of awareness."

"but……"

Lu Jiu abruptly changed the subject, pulled out two test papers from the bottom of the stack of qualified papers, slammed them on the table with a thud, and couldn't help but twitch his lips.

"These two are simply oddities in Konoha's education system."

Nishikawa Tetsu looked closely and saw that the name of Uchiha Obito was prominently displayed on the top document.

He quickly glanced at Obito's essay—"Technology Changes the Ninja World, I Want to Be the Strongest Hokage."

"...Technology is the divine tool that allows me to see through Kakashi's weaknesses! Peace is eating Rin's bento boxes every day and buying the latest game console! Development is letting the entire ninja world know that I, Uchiha Obito, am destined to become Hokage!"

After reading this outrageous statement, which sounded like the ravings of someone suffering from severe chuunibyou, Nishikawa Tetsu couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"This kid is really... consistently naive."

"That's called being naive? That's called going off-topic!" Shikaku rolled his eyes dramatically.

"There wasn't a single word of macro-level thinking about peace and development in his entire essay; it was all just his personal boasting and fantasies. If he hadn't gotten all the objective questions right, like who to call for repairs when a streetlight breaks—common sense questions—this kid definitely wouldn't have passed!"

Nishikawa Tetsu smiled and shook his head. That's so Obito.

He then picked up the exam paper below, which was signed by Kanae Uzumaki.

"What about Chanel? How come she's at the bottom too?"

Shikaku covered his face in despair.

"See for yourself. She chose sealing techniques for the question about how air conditioning works! Her reasoning was that it's like compressing chakra into a sealing scroll and then releasing it!"

"That's fine, after all, kids don't understand thermodynamics. But that scenario question—if your teammate is seriously injured, do you choose to abandon them or protect them?"

Shikaku's voice was filled with helplessness:

"She actually wrote: First, give him an injection using the Konoha first aid kit, then carry him to the nearest barbecue restaurant and use the aroma of barbecue to wake him up! If he still doesn't wake up, I'll eat his portion too, turning my grief into appetite, and then avenge him!"

"puff--"

This time, Nishikawa Tetsu really couldn't hold back, and he almost spat the mouthful of water he had just drunk onto Shikaku's face.

"Using barbecue to wake up a seriously injured teammate... that's some seriously bizarre thought process!"

Nishikawa Tetsu laughed as he wiped his mouth. "But, isn't this another form of never abandoning your teammates? At least she didn't choose to just leave them behind and run away."

"I'd say she barely passed, just barely making the minimum requirement." Lu Jiu sighed, looking utterly exhausted.

"It seems that the education of the new generation of genin in Konoha is quite solid, except for these two special cases, of course." Nishikawa Tetsu put down the test paper and turned his gaze to the stack of qualified papers belonging to candidates from other villages.

"How's the situation in the neighboring villages? Anything unexpected?"

Yes, and quite a few.

Shikaku's expression turned serious, and he pulled out a few papers from the stack.

"First up is Mei Terumi of Kirigakure."

Lu Jiu handed over an exam paper.

"Her observation skills are extremely sharp. Not only did she accurately locate the surveillance points we had set up in the shadows of the commercial street, but in her essay, her analysis of the prosperity of Konoha as an invisible order was so profound that it was hard to believe that a child of this age could understand it."

"She saw through our open scheme to undermine the enemy's psychological defenses through economic and lifestyle changes. If this girl had grown up in the cruel environment of Kirigakure, she would definitely have been a formidable opponent in the future."

Nishikawa Tetsu looked at Terumi Mei's exam paper and nodded slightly, after all, she was the future Mizukage.

"Secondly, there's Tsugami Hiro of Iwagakure."

Shikaku then handed over another exam paper filled with various mechanical sketches.

"This girl is a complete tech fanatic. She treated these three days like a science and technology expedition, drawing her theoretical assumptions about vending machines and elevators on the back of the exam paper. Although many parts were incorrect, the underlying idea was very close."

"I've also passed through the White Sand Village. Although she complained about the sand of the Land of Wind and praised the Daifuku of Konoha throughout the story, her sense of recognition for how technology changes lives was the highest."

"This is exactly the effect I wanted." Nishikawa Tetsu smiled with satisfaction.

"As for Killer Bee of Kumogakure..."

Shikaku's lips twitched again as he pulled out an exam paper that looked like it had been chewed by a dog and had strange musical notes drawn on it.

"He got the objective questions terribly wrong, but his essay was a... rap?"

"Yo! The lights in Konoha are shining brightly, glowing even without chakra! The air conditioning is so refreshing, even the Eight-Tails is praising it! Peace is when everyone sings together, without having to eat dust and fight on the battlefield! Yeah!"

Nishikawa Tetsu looked at the cringe-worthy lyrics and suppressed a laugh: "This... well, it's close to the theme, isn't it?"

"I guess so." Lu Jiu nodded helplessly. "At least he expressed his approval of this convenient lifestyle, even if the form is a bit unconventional."

"but……"

Shika took a deep breath, his eyes becoming extremely strange, and pulled out two test papers from the bottom of the qualified papers, his movements even somewhat cautious.

"What surprised me the most were Kisame Hoshigaki and Zabuza Momochi from Kirigakure."

"These two guys, who come from Kirigakure and whose creed is killing, actually passed the test."

"Oh?"

Nishikawa Tetsu became interested; these were two formidable characters.

"In his essay, Zabuza Momochi wrote: 'The weak flock of sheep created the lush pastures. Although this prosperity is nauseating, it is undeniable that this comfort built with rules and tools is harder to destroy than mere slaughter. If Kirigakure could possess this kind of power, perhaps there would be no need to select genin with blood anymore.'"

After reading this passage, Shikaku felt a pang of sadness.

"Although he verbally expressed disdain, he was already beginning to waver."

"As for Kisame Hoshigaki..."

Lu Jiu pointed to the few lines of text on the test paper.

He wrote: "In this fabricated ninja world, Konoha's false prosperity seems somewhat real. Note: The grilled saury at that restaurant is quite good."

"Grilled saury?" Nishikawa Tetsu was taken aback.

"They probably ate it on the street these past few days," Lu Jiu shrugged. "Anyway, their values ​​have already cracked. The purpose of this first test has been achieved."

Nishikawa Tetsuya sorted out the qualified test papers with satisfaction.

"It seems that these three days of intense experience have indeed taught these genin from other villages a vivid lesson."

"However, the most exciting part is yet to come."

Shikaku suddenly wore an extremely pained expression. He picked out a test paper from the pile of unsatisfactory papers as if he were squeezing a dead mouse, and handed it to Nishikawa Tetsuya.

"Vice Minister, please take a look at this."

"What's wrong?" Nishikawa Tetsu asked, taking the paper with a puzzled look.

The title of the essay on the exam paper was boldly displayed in five extremely obsequious, even cringe-inducing, characters:

My Leaf Dream.

Nishikawa Tetsu only read the first two sentences before feeling a churning in his stomach, and he almost threw up his dinner.

"...Ah! Konoha! You are the guiding light of the ninja world! Your streets are smoother than anywhere in my village! Your air conditioning is cooler than any wind-style ninjutsu in my village! Your vending machines are simply divine gifts from the gods!"

"How I wish I could have been born in Konoha, breathing this air filled with the sweet scent of technology and money! I would be willing to contribute to the prosperity of Konoha, even if it were just as a street sweeper, I would feel it would be a thousand times more honorable than being a ninja in my own village!"

"..."

Nishikawa Tetsu stared dumbfounded at the nearly three thousand-word poem of praise, which was full of sycophancy and had no bottom line.

This is hardly an essay for the Chunin Exams.

This is clearly a citizenship application filled with deep emotion!

"This... which village's talent wrote this?!" Nishikawa Tetsu was shocked.

"A genin from Sunagakure." Shikaku covered his face in pain, feeling as if his eyes had been contaminated.

"This guy not only praised Konoha's infrastructure, but also spent 500 words praising pepper spray, saying that it reflects Konoha's deep concern for the vulnerable and is a shining example of humanitarianism."

"This is simply..."

Nishikawa Tetsu was speechless.

"If Granny Chiyo or Rasa saw this, they'd probably punish them on the spot, right?"

"I gave him a failing grade."

Shikaku sighed.

"While we do want to brainwash them, these shameless sycophants who have no backbone are either genuinely loyal or just opportunists who could betray us at any moment. If they're just deliberately pandering to us to pass the exam..."

Lu Jiu sneered, "Then that acting is just too clumsy."

"here you go."

Nishikawa Tetsu threw the exam paper into the wastepaper basket.

"What Konoha needs are like-minded people who share our values, not spineless cowards who only know how to wag their tails and beg."

"Alright, the first written test has come to a successful conclusion."

Nishikawa Tetsu stood up, stretched out his arms and legs, and his bones cracked and popped.

"Compile the report cards and send them to the village leaders for review. If there are no objections, we will officially announce them tomorrow."